Curse the alarm. I mean really curse it. Curse at it as your fist slams into the shrieking metal bells atop the heart-shaped clock. Curse again at the pain now shooting through your hand. Hold onto the walls for support as you work your way toward the bathroom for a shower. Feel ten, maybe twenty,… Read More How to be a Different Kind of Showgirl ~ memoir by Kat Knuth
Jim George is a writer-artist-musician. He has self-published (as a pdf) a collection of humorous stories, poems, specialty forms and line drawings entitled Jim Shorts. His work has also appeared in ANON Magazine, Praxis Magazine and Hock Spit Slurp. As a journalist, he has interviewed such legendary figures as Gore Vidal, Muddy Waters, Steve Allen, Bo… Read More Hansen and Gretchen ~ a text conversation by Jim George
As a longtime employee of XYZ Corporation, I’d like to welcome you to the company! I am excited to have you on the team. Undoubtedly, you’ll discover that some coworkers refer to me as the “Angry Black Guy” of this firm, likely due to the irritated looks I give people during staff meetings, office get-togethers,… Read More Angry Black Guy Looks: A Guide for New Employees ~ helpful advice by Adrian S. Potter
Too explicit ROBUST, ENERGETIC, VIGOROUS single gentleman (Princeton ’60), seeks sleek female Chaucer scholar for naughty Canterbury Tales re-enactments. Are you ready for “any lord to leggen in his bedde?” I’m up for it! Box 48729. Too depressing DEEP THINKER WITH NO REGRETS, yet something tells me all is illusion in this too-short life. Divorced… Read More Rejected Personal Ads from the New York Review of Books ~ a parody by Mike McGowan
GAME PLAY: Participants start in the juicy center of the trash gyre (Spiral Recipe Ham) and work their way out towards the sweet release of a well-blown nose, by rolling the die (not included). Also not included are playing pieces. This creates more freedom of choice than any of the loser games manufactured during the… Read More Double Truth Deals ~ a board game by C. B. Auder
bodies notes on the new bodies “An average affair with a fierce animal in a brick! … No one?” The sermon! Tales of sapphires disturbed the root of the Moon – the first moonshine. Are the sacred ones the fungus, not the Moon’s mantle and the Moon’s moons? In those sloth skins a tickled elbow splashes.… Read More bodies ~ a text collage by Hanuszkiewicz Marcin
Inaugural address of Donald J. Trump, January 20, 2017 Elizabeth Krause is a graphic artist from Portland, Oregon. She created “Triumph” with an online word cloud generator. (Right-click on the image to view full-size.)
Sonnet XX* A woman’s face with nature’s own hand painted, Hast thou, the master mistress of my passion; You look hot, girl. A woman’s gentle heart, but not acquainted With shifting change, as is false women’s fashion: Most women are bitches, but you a’ight. An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling, Like,… Read More A Shakespeare sonnet edited for modern Americans ~ poetry by Wim Leflore
As if his last novel hadn’t done enough damage, Braith Pindrop is back with a new book exploiting the nascent national fad of ferret racing. As far as this reviewer can tell, the ferret-racing fad is only three months old, suggesting that Pindrop’s book, The Sleek Ones, was rushed out. Derrick Dewlap is a lovable… Read More A Day at the Races ~ a faux book review by Kevin Brennan
