The Disappointed Housewife is a literary journal for writers, and readers, who are seeking something different. We like the idiosyncratic, the iconoclastic, the offbeat, the hard-to-categorize. Out of the universe of fiction, poetry, and creative nonfiction, we want to attract work that plays with form and presentation. Work that’s not just outside the box but… Read More Editor’s foreword
Prey No air in the cafe and my Coke melting quick and that guy staring hot from behind and to my right, reminding me of the campground with friends, the day hot and moonlight barely cooler, me full of Yukon Jack, walking alone back from the bathroom, not drunk enough for squatting in shrubs, hoping… Read More Three Poems ~ poetry by Kerry Trautman
I’m not sentimental, but I don’t want to be erased. That’s why I motion the salesperson over to the table of folded green and yellow T-shirts. This is where we cut the cake, I explain. She narrows her eyes, trying, I can tell, to decide if I’m a well-dressed homeless weirdo or a Vicodin-addled suburbanite,… Read More The Place We Held Our Wedding is Now a Surf Shop ~ fiction by Jen McConnell
There is clear jelly agar oozing from me after the sex, which I try to mop up with socks from my backpack A guy in his late 60s (early 70s?) and his wife The super-old hot guy comes in on his way to the en-suite, says to me: My wife asked me to tell you… Read More Sex Dream ~ poetry by Syreeta Muir
Thlok when drunk.Thlok for deer.Thlok for you to fail.Thlok when you can’t thlok.Thlok chips on the poker table. Thlok your name being called. Thlok falls down.Thlok shut up.Thlok talk about their children.Thlok hard work. Thlok jolt a finger. Thlok beer poured into a glass. Thlok guitar pedal. Thlok your partner. Thlok caw.Thlok you have no interest in. Thlok two packs a day. Thlok typing with mitts. Thlok silent manner.Thlok urinate. Thlok wind machine. Thlok monster. Thlok opinion without listening. Thlok fast asleep. Thlok two big sticks. Thlok fish swims away. Thlok across the street.Thlok thawing snow in spring.Thlok thoughts during sex.Thlok man mansplaining thlok.… Read More Thlok ~ poetry by James Croal Jackson
Caity Scott writes about diabolical joy, simple wonder and (whenever possible) dinosaurs. Her work has teeth and exists in liminal spaces between what we love, what we laugh at, and how it all breaks us. When she’s not listening to true crime podcasts, she’s pursuing an MFA in creative writing at Western Washington University. Her… Read More Reddit: Am I the Asshole? ~ Reddit thread by Caity Scott
There’s a place where my mind goes to attenuate. I can call it “Paris,” because that’s what exchange students call it when they’re traveling through its metro stations. They can get all the way out to the country and its terrifying rural confectioners, before they know they’ve left the city. I’ve seen them looking purposeful,… Read More Precedence ~ creative nonfiction by Kathryn Pratt Russell
The store’s closed for two hours. The show window glass’s being replaced, so an unusual, never happens, first time in God knows how long, forced idleness’s settled in on Sandy and the Rudimentary Substitute shoe salesman. After tiring of idly hanging around out front half-watching the workmen wrangle up great sheets of thick plate glass,… Read More Enforced Job Break ~ fiction by Jim Meirose
Nonideological dialect contains dreams, habits, intuition, moreoverThe construction of private/public meaning; few nonexperts embrace Make-believe’s robustness derived from lexes’ haunting resonances. Consequently, meditation of integrity’s assembly arguments intimate Human interactions in the categorizing of heuristics, gets sacrificedWhile reifying virtuous agreement arrays, equally apples’ acridness. Popular, western epistemic fact/value divisions, suggest exclusivity Versus aesthetics/ techniques, not disparate from conflict literature,(Can’t always contribute solutions or patch up spider-free bananas.) Compared with nontraditional ingredients, forms… Read More The Fruitfulness of Communication’s Moral Component ~ poetry by KJ Hannah Greenberg
Skimming Sideways When you reach that magic agewhen no player picks the magnesium trickfrom your sandwich, you’re wont toexhale red notches, the kind mountaingoats rejuvenate when they wash up inForge Village. Disgruntled cherry pickers, notwithstanding,if you have never smoked a dobro guitar, ordwelt in the doldrums of twin religions,Go ahead and cancel your contract, they’ll… Read More Three poems ~ poetry by Frank William Finney
Dear reader of this fine publication, The following was rubbed from a sheet of 1960s-era carbon paper found in a shoebox hidden under a floorboard in Pennsylvania State Museum’s Delaware Room. Research indicates that Noah Brewster, chief historian of Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania, during the 1960s, was about to discover the location of Amaritudinem, Pennsylvania, before… Read More The History of Amaritudinem, Pennsylvania ~ fiction by John Lane
The Disappointed Housewife is pleased (and proud) to announce that Kirsty McGrory’s flash fiction, “The Apparitions,” has been selected to appear in the 2021 Best Small Fictions Anthology, published by The Sonder Press. Read Kirsty’s excellent story, published last May. And here’s her bio: “Kirsty McGrory is a writer from Edinburgh, Scotland. Her writing has… Read More Look for The Disappointed Housewife in the 2021 Best Small Fictions Anthology!
Around a felt-top table in Al’s faux-walnut-paneled breezeway, a small group in northwest Iowa — farmers, bookkeepers, stay-at-home moms — gathers for a game of Texas Hold ‘em. Though Bicycles are dealt to each player, it’s the booze and the tobacco, a little weed and a little speed that are the true calling cards. priorities… Read More Game Night ~ poetry by Julie Allyn Johnson
Letter to Bernadette Mayer March 13th, 2020 I’m drunk and in the dream of how things get written. Not eating running at least three miles a day, water and some good rye from out east of Salt Lake tides me over. I have been fostering this idea where I send you some money soon… Read More Letter to Bernadette Mayer ~ poetry by Andrew Romanelli
So kind of Ron to come over, help you out to the porch for a chat. Such a nice man. He brought me flowers. They got me thinking. Lilies will be an obvious choice, but they have that awful funeral smell. Perhaps hardy daisies mixed with blue gladiolus? Flowers that don’t lean on each other,… Read More That Funeral Smell ~ fiction by Karen Walker
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Anne had stumbled upon a cache of affirmations on Pop Sugar and was painstakingly writing them down on an unopened envelope from LADWP. A late payment notice. She could tell by the red ink on the bill peeking through. Anne did not write them all… Read More Affirmations for a Virus ~ fiction by Laura Louden
Snacks, Cigarettes, Beer, Slots, Sloths Outside, the sun rose like an oncoming aneurysm. The gas pumps were explosive elephants, the parking lot, a potholed safari. It was the opposite of rush hour. A long row of sloths played the slots that lined the dirty window of the Circle K. All three toes curled around the… Read More Two Micro Stories ~ fiction by Jennifer Battisti
It’s the one he took while we were standing outside The World Diner and I was caught off-guard and he was smiling and behind us, in the sky, Fourth of July, a chemtrail heart, hanging, before things changed, before the truth of our world changed. The photo was on the stand next to the bed.… Read More Grief Has Hidden My Picture ~ fiction by Ron Burch
One of the greatest pleasures I get as editor of your The Disappointed Housewife is opening an unsolicited submission and finding a piece that really “gets” our mission. My grin broadens as I read it, each line telling me that this writer is a natural at what we want to publish: We’re looking for stories… Read More What to Send to The Disappointed Housewife ~ editorial plea by Kevin Brennan
No more with the game plan where I badmouth everything I do, think, and feel. For instance, I sexted Grace and she wrote back, “lmao maybe later in the week.” Ok, see, a line has two sides, and time, it’s been proven by scientists, seems to move faster as you age. This was not a… Read More Fervent Waiting ~ fiction by Sean Ennis
AUTHOR’S NOTE: These are found poems for which I used the January 2020 issue of O Magazine as my source material. For each poem, I would start with a word or short phrase, then move forward until I found a new word or phrase that joined it in an interesting way, and keep going until I had… Read More Three poems ~ poetry by Marilyn Cavicchia
4, the tendons of the foot, sinew stretched taut as rubber bands, cat gut. 4 is also an exposed thigh bone, close to an (n), horizontal and lateral lines on a map of a body flayed open for investigation. 4(e), a silent scream, or a smile, a sarcastic smirk, a laugh aborted. Two teeth missing,… Read More On Paper ~ poetry by Holly Day
Write a short scene in which a character based on the female model wearing the “Olivia Velvet Dress” in Crimson falls for the male model in the “Play It Again Henley” in Smoke. Write the same scene from the omniscient limited point of view of the male model who must tell your character that she… Read More Ten Writing Prompts Inspired by the Sundance Holiday Catalog ~ writing inspiration by Ashley Memory
The Disappointed Housewife is pleased to nominate the following stories and poems for the 2021 Pushcart Prizes: FICTION: “Mid-Januinary Radio Jam” by Jim Meirose “The Hopskotch King” by Jake Sheff “The Apparitions” by Kirsty McGrory POETRY: “Oranges (for Frank O’Hara) by Christina M. Rau “If I seem distracted, I’m working on my party trick” by… Read More Pushcart Prize Nominations 2021
Multihyphenate With a swish, he departed the foyer, a small trail of rhinestones witnessing his farewell (coordinating the seemingly incommensurate, like making friends, never worried him.) Most tenders of criticism on his projects fell away, wordlessly (any limits imposed Were for others’ work, least he neglect the surrounding conditions of his genius’ foci.) Essential fights… Read More Two Poems ~ poetry by KJ Hannah Greenberg
1. Absorption I’ve spent decades bioaccumulating PCBs, manganese, & especially organophosphate pesticides —my mother and I both l0ved apples. All us kids on the block followed the mosquito trucks on our Schwinns & Huffys breathing malathion and tHermal oils then for dinner potatoes, spinach strawberries doused with repeated chemical washes and now my nerve signals… Read More If I seem distracted, I’m working on my party trick ~ poetry by Lisa Bledsoe
It was a phrase you hadn’t used often, but one that quickly dominated your life. It became your children’s favorite word. Morning and night they chanted it. In your local grocery store when something was found not agreeable, it was deemed fake. In a court of law, testimony not to someone’s liking was labeled fake.… Read More Sustainable ~ fiction by Xenia Taiga
All the pictures on my account are at least five years old. If your pictures aren’t recent don’t bother matching. About me: My kids don’t speak to me and I avoid my neighbors as much as they avoid me. I watch ten hours of television a day and I’m banned from commenting on most news… Read More Tinder Swipe Left ~ poetry by John Tustin
The Fly “Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects … don’t have politics. We can’t trust the insect …. I’m saying … I’m saying I — I’m an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it.” Something goes horribly wrong when a homophobic vice president inserts himself into an experiment… Read More 7 Monster Movies to Scare the Pants Off Republicans ~ movie capsules by Elizabeth Johnston
We’d talked about starting a vegetable garden for years, but it took the pandemic to make us actually do it. I’d realised quite swiftly that the weekly Ocado delivery was a thing of the past and that if I wanted a reliable supply of lollo rosso and dill, I’d have to grow it myself. In… Read More Some Notes on Container Gardening During the Apocalypse ~ fiction by Tabitha Potts
I read that Eddie Van Halen died and my mind immediately turned to Valerie Bertinelli, the Valerie now, the one who judges children’s baking skills—skills I’ll never have and am not too interested in having—and how sad she must be even though things didn’t quite work out between the two of them all those years… Read More [I read that Eddie Van Halen died…] ~ poetry by Christina M. Rau
I roll onto your side of the bed, still warm and a little damp from last night. Since our son was born, you always pull out and cum on your side. The smell of semen and sweat lingers between silk sheets. But another child at the moment would be foolish. Cruel. Running water from our… Read More For Them ~ fiction by Paul Attmere
Gagootz: Staten Island for zucchini, from the Italian cucuzza. My husband used to call me his gagootz, a term of endearment like cute, when he started to call me cunt I moved to another state. Now, I am the caregiver of my ancient mother. All day the TV blasts, MSNBC our Big Brother. It could… Read More The Gagootz ~ poetry by Vicki Iorio
I’m driving to my job at the university, running a little late, and I see two guys carrying a toilet into Taco Bell. They’re crouched over like it’s kind of heavy, one’s got the door propped open with his shoulder, getting the toilet through the entrance looks awkward. So maybe Taco Bell is getting a… Read More Two Guys Carrying a Toilet Into Taco Bell ~ essay by Jacqueline Doyle
turtle race at Northeastern University, 29 foot marathon course – Billy the Kid reenactment, cow chip tossing, world championship cornstalk shoot – Esley Hallett’s historic timepieces: water clocks, sundials, hour glasses – International Worm Fiddling contest – gondola on the Wabash, village of violets, house of “Little Boy Blue” bird carving in Salisbury, bump-jumping in… Read More Alternative America ~ poetry by John Grey
I. Those years of words unspoken simply thought and kept to the self may never emerge, lost to time under tension. II. He asked for extended kindness. She extended it, and he didn’t take it. Kindness wasted by the wayside. III. I don’t know what to say here. IV. There’s something about reflection in rippled… Read More Oranges (for Frank O’Hara) ~ poetry by Christina M. Rau
Fever, chills, cough— I want my wife to go up to the clinic. “What for?” she says from bed. “I have no underlying condition—except mortality.” A single laugh sets off a spasm of hacking, and, one hand bothering chest, “Like-hit-by-a-train,” she gets out, thick and foggy, of how she feels, before fading beneath a framed… Read More The Door ~ fiction by Vincent Barry
Back City, crank your evoluminations. All gosh to the great God Yul. Tangling. The way head’s tangleteening for a taking. Some sort of sport seems to be playing out back over here. So, look on. Let’s a’ look at yer radio. Breaking news this unprecedented eighty-degree late Januinary daytime. So, you say this squareradio’s not… Read More Mid-Januinary Radio Jam ~ fiction by Jim Meirose
Going back to a time before time could be recorded, in what came to be the modern state of Tanzania, chimpanzees had religion. Naturally, it was not a religion in the sense of our current ones, with texts and liturgy and hierarchies, but it was organized around the idea of a creator who had put… Read More The Birth of Religion ~ fiction by Janet Barrows
I moved into an apartment across the country to regain the independence I felt I had lost; it took me two days of living alone to understand that now is not the time for independence. I sleep in my friend’s unoccupied room because it feels better than admitting the tiny one next to it is… Read More Amidst the Chaos ~ pandemic essay by Kelsey Allen
Some pre-calc (binomial formula – for expanding (x + y)-to-the-n ) I’m sure you’re a most loyal FOIL-er and I’ll never be a FOIL-spoiler but when n, for its britch gets too big, you should switch and be to this formula loyaler. (the non-minimum continuum) Real numbers are squashed as can be. They’re locked in… Read More A Factor of Minus-One ~ math limericks by Marion Deutsche Cohen
