The Disappointed Housewife is a literary journal for writers, and readers, who are seeking something different. We like the idiosyncratic, the iconoclastic, the offbeat, the hard-to-categorize. Out of the universe of fiction, poetry, and creative nonfiction, we want to attract work that plays with form and presentation. Work that’s not just outside the box but… Read More Editor’s foreword
Painting Party at an Indian Buffet I am scumbling a cataract waterfall with underhanded oils, ad-libbing the lilac current and dysmorphic October Glory maple trees. Feeling prolific and pioneering, I fashion a festooned mermaid headlining shamrock curls, gaudy beneath the lioness sun atop an out-of-tune libertine boulder garden. The pedestrian instructor clears her throat stormily,… Read More Painting Party at an Indian Buffet ~ poetry by Megan Denese Mealor
I was lost, hurrying down an endless corridor to find my classroom, clutching books and a folder of notes. I realized they were the wrong books, the wrong notes, and I was in the wrong building. Class was about to start. Could I make it in time? Could I wing it without notes? I was… Read More A Dress with Pockets, or Mediterranean Vistas ~ creative nonfiction by Jacqueline Doyle
The blanks feed in from the left side. Front ‘n center’s the drop forge. The rough stamped hammerheads, having been through some step of the process, ride off on the belt to the left side. Left to center to right left to center to right left to center to right all on then and on… Read More Poole Hammer Factory; Factory Floor ~ fiction by Jim Meirose
Joshua St. Claire is a CPA who works as a financial controller in Pennsylvania. He enjoys writing poetry on coffee breaks and after putting the kids to bed. His work is published or forthcoming in Delmarva Review, Inflectionist Review, Blue Unicorn, ubu., and bones, among others, and has received nominations for the Pushcart. Show Joshua… Read More Catachresis ~ poetry by Joshua St. Claire
Megan Riddell is a central-Florida-based poet, family law paralegal, and mother to her daughter, Violet. Megan is also a soon-to-be graduate of the University of Central Florida, with her Master of Fine Arts in creative writing, specializing in poetry and creative non-fiction, in May 2022. Some of her poems have been featured in the… Read More Stalemate ~ poetry by Megan Riddell
First the fish started showing up dead at the edge of the water and then the Zimmermans’ dog got sick. But most people who lived on the Landing still went into the lake daily if before the algae arrived they’d gone into the lake daily. Younger children were amused by the green fuzz. They had… Read More Allotropes ~ fiction by Rachel Federman
I draw my clothes and wear them for a day. Today a denim jacket, gardener’s pants, and a green beret. If this is my superhero power, I won’t be saving the world anytime soon, but I will be happily dressed. Spiderman was bitten by a spider and so his new life began. I came from… Read More Language of Lines ~ fiction by Guy Biederman
toward the end we sit together in the darkness The heavy curtains drawn, the sun a wash like clorox on the screen boxed in the console. I sip a cabernet, the way my mother used to do to accompany the hours of the Zenith. My father with the don’t-touch-the-remote at his elbow. The cuff, the… Read More Two Poems ~ poetry by Kathleen Hellen
“He’s really not, you know.” Mother peers over her readers, puts down her knitting. That infernal clatter of clicking metal. She can’t seem to find the plastic needles I bought for her birthday years ago. She yawns, stretches her legs, adjusts the reading lamp. “Not what?” “What you think.” His tentacles are vying for position… Read More Monster ~ fiction by Mikki Aronoff
Welcome to my humble abode! It’s a one-story cottage clad in lumpy stucco, like oatmeal flung at the walls. A big fenced yard, maple tree in front, garden in back. Tuscan columns on the front porch help with the southern exposure. They add a touch of class, don’t you think? Have a seat in the… Read More To the Visitor ~ fiction by Robert Boucheron
“Russia attacks Ukraine.” “Mr. President, Russia can’t attack Ukraine. There is no Russia …” “Nyet! Russia attacks Ukraine.” The President motioned at the board where it clearly said Ural and where he had amassed a sizable force. “There is no Ural. There is only Russia and Ukraine will soon become a part of it.” He… Read More The Last Dance ~ fiction by Mark Paxson
Irene shuffles around the bed. Nan’s in the bed. Irene futzes with the tubes. Something’s not right, she says. I don’t know why anyone thought it was a good idea to play nurse to your own sister, but the place is always short-staffed, and here we are, and Irene is on duty. In this family,… Read More Now Look at Her ~ fiction by Melissa Benton Barker
Saturday-7pm Good evening! This is the regular meeting of the “Quip Pro Quote” group of Alcoholics Anonymous. “The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.” [Though we may suffer from “terminal hipness and fatal cool” (shout out to another fellowship)]. That was an unpretentious quote from pg.… Read More “Quip Pro Quote” Meeting Format ~ meeting agenda by Charles March
Pilate’s Dream Pilate, at bliss with his lead hypnosis, through it, a hazy trip in the desert, in his mind, a mirage where a ghost of myrrh speaks in languages, in rituals, “goodbye to earth,” wasting time with bliss, a vision he does not like, no more pantheon, a golden triangle Pilate, sour, mindful of… Read More Two poems ~ poetry by Ben Nardolilli
Imbongi, praise singer, passions’ planter, ancestors’ defender, Reciter of penetrating poetry (divulging familial interactions), Reteller of histories, commentator on community affairs, she Dares pronounce the ineffable. During ceremonial activities, or else thru “important” episodes, Outrageous statements, critical rhetoric, and indelicate remarks, That gnarled woman remains protected by champions, dreaded, Revered as her revelations. Ancient wisdom… Read More Griot ~ poetry by KJ Hannah Greenberg
The first flush, Frida. A small picture. The painter, fiery and brown, fierce-browed, flat on her sickbed back. He didn’t understand the jolt of it at first, and maybe not now, how his pulse quickened when he saw how sick she was. The tram wreck, the polio, the crutches. In this way, her accident was… Read More The Cretin ~ fiction by Lorette C. Luzajic
The Disappointed Housewife is pleased once again to nominate writers published in our virtual pages this year for the The Best Small Fictions anthology, assembled annually by Sonder Press. Our nominees are: Why I’m Angry ~ fiction by Brooke Brannon Reddit: Am I the Asshole? ~ Reddit thread by Caity Scott Two Micro Stories ~ fiction by… Read More Best Small Fictions Nominations 2022
Two Ruminant Third Graders Discourse Upon the Falling Autumn Leaves Translated from the Third Grader Ed. note: The dialogues of Percysius and Kevinocrates present unique challenges to the translator. This version does not pretend to be definitive—only approachable. We have trimmed the glue paste and erased the pencil smudges while trying to keep core intent… Read More Two Ruminant Third Graders Discourse Upon the Falling Autumn Leaves ~ fiction by B Myers
Kam slept as he drove through country lanes in his silver Prius, a clammy palm pressed against the wheel, cigarette dangling from the other hand, spraying ash like a sparkler at New Year’s Eve as he held it out of the half-opened window. He did this every year. Sleeping and driving. A dreamy pilgrimage if… Read More Driving at Night ~ fiction by Tim Frank
The Disappointed Housewife is pleased to nominate the following stories and poems for the 2022 Pushcart Prizes: FICTION Why I’m Angry ~ Brooke Brannon But Who’s Counting? ~ Michael Cocchiarale Reddit: Am I the Asshole? ~ Caity Scott POETRY Sex Dream ~ Syreeta Muir Game Night ~ Julie Allyn Johnson Letter to Bernadette Mayer ~… Read More Pushcart Prize Nominations 2022
[in]transpiring: a psychosomatic [re-]glitch[ing] Ami J. Sanghvi (he/they) is a non-binary, Indian-American, queer author, artist, designer, boxer, Eric Hoffer Book Award finalist, and recent graduate from the California Institute of the Arts Creative Writing M.F.A. program (concentration: image/text). He is a fiction editor for Decolonial Passage, poetry editor for Wrongdoing Magazine, staff writer for Chaotic Merge, and photographer for AsianZine, as… Read More [in]transpiring: a psychosomatic [re-]glitch[ing] ~ graphic poetry by Ami J. Sanghvi
After Richard Thomas’s story “Twenty Reasons to Stay and One to Leave” Why I’m Angry Because at 5, my father leaves, becoming someone I see maybe once or twice a year Because at 6, my brother starts blaming my mom for this Because at 7, on a camping trip with my father and brother, I… Read More Why I’m Angry ~ fiction by Brooke Brannon
Perhaps I should soften like April light on the hardy plants that is my attempt at creating a metaphor out of my dad and I can do better than that but poets are sometimes arseholes. Perhaps I should learn from the condensation in a bouquet and understand that cut down carnations in their prime have… Read More My dad wants to meet for coffee again ~ poetry by Antony Owen
The Disappointed Housewife is delighted to announce the following nominations for the Best of the Net Anthology. This is our first set of nominations for Best of the Net, since the nominating process is a little arcane, but these writers deserve some extra attention for their stellar pieces and it was well worth jumping through… Read More Best of the Net Nominations
don’t go in the horse ring too soon the horse might kick you or step on you if a horse’s foot is stepped on by a boy that’s something about God a first sexual mistake e.g. or a too-hard yank on a… Read More *cotton candy* ~ poetry by Jamie Spenser
Author’s note: In each piece, the number of words matches the age of the protagonist at the time, i.e., the episode title. Forty In the beginning, there’d been many inklings of the end. Now, slumped upon the toilet seat, Alex is convinced his marriage is crap. Curses through the window. He stands, frowns at… Read More But Who’s Counting? ~ fiction by Michael Cocchiarale
Prey No air in the cafe and my Coke melting quick and that guy staring hot from behind and to my right, reminding me of the campground with friends, the day hot and moonlight barely cooler, me full of Yukon Jack, walking alone back from the bathroom, not drunk enough for squatting in shrubs, hoping… Read More Three Poems ~ poetry by Kerry Trautman
I’m not sentimental, but I don’t want to be erased. That’s why I motion the salesperson over to the table of folded green and yellow T-shirts. This is where we cut the cake, I explain. She narrows her eyes, trying, I can tell, to decide if I’m a well-dressed homeless weirdo or a Vicodin-addled suburbanite,… Read More The Place We Held Our Wedding is Now a Surf Shop ~ fiction by Jen McConnell
There is clear jelly agar oozing from me after the sex, which I try to mop up with socks from my backpack A guy in his late 60s (early 70s?) and his wife The super-old hot guy comes in on his way to the en-suite, says to me: My wife asked me to tell you… Read More Sex Dream ~ poetry by Syreeta Muir
Thlok when drunk.Thlok for deer.Thlok for you to fail.Thlok when you can’t thlok.Thlok chips on the poker table. Thlok your name being called. Thlok falls down.Thlok shut up.Thlok talk about their children.Thlok hard work. Thlok jolt a finger. Thlok beer poured into a glass. Thlok guitar pedal. Thlok your partner. Thlok caw.Thlok you have no interest in. Thlok two packs a day. Thlok typing with mitts. Thlok silent manner.Thlok urinate. Thlok wind machine. Thlok monster. Thlok opinion without listening. Thlok fast asleep. Thlok two big sticks. Thlok fish swims away. Thlok across the street.Thlok thawing snow in spring.Thlok thoughts during sex.Thlok man mansplaining thlok.… Read More Thlok ~ poetry by James Croal Jackson
Caity Scott writes about diabolical joy, simple wonder and (whenever possible) dinosaurs. Her work has teeth and exists in liminal spaces between what we love, what we laugh at, and how it all breaks us. When she’s not listening to true crime podcasts, she’s pursuing an MFA in creative writing at Western Washington University. Her… Read More Reddit: Am I the Asshole? ~ Reddit thread by Caity Scott
There’s a place where my mind goes to attenuate. I can call it “Paris,” because that’s what exchange students call it when they’re traveling through its metro stations. They can get all the way out to the country and its terrifying rural confectioners, before they know they’ve left the city. I’ve seen them looking purposeful,… Read More Precedence ~ creative nonfiction by Kathryn Pratt Russell
The store’s closed for two hours. The show window glass’s being replaced, so an unusual, never happens, first time in God knows how long, forced idleness’s settled in on Sandy and the Rudimentary Substitute shoe salesman. After tiring of idly hanging around out front half-watching the workmen wrangle up great sheets of thick plate glass,… Read More Enforced Job Break ~ fiction by Jim Meirose
Nonideological dialect contains dreams, habits, intuition, moreoverThe construction of private/public meaning; few nonexperts embrace Make-believe’s robustness derived from lexes’ haunting resonances. Consequently, meditation of integrity’s assembly arguments intimate Human interactions in the categorizing of heuristics, gets sacrificedWhile reifying virtuous agreement arrays, equally apples’ acridness. Popular, western epistemic fact/value divisions, suggest exclusivity Versus aesthetics/ techniques, not disparate from conflict literature,(Can’t always contribute solutions or patch up spider-free bananas.) Compared with nontraditional ingredients, forms… Read More The Fruitfulness of Communication’s Moral Component ~ poetry by KJ Hannah Greenberg
Skimming Sideways When you reach that magic agewhen no player picks the magnesium trickfrom your sandwich, you’re wont toexhale red notches, the kind mountaingoats rejuvenate when they wash up inForge Village. Disgruntled cherry pickers, notwithstanding,if you have never smoked a dobro guitar, ordwelt in the doldrums of twin religions,Go ahead and cancel your contract, they’ll… Read More Three poems ~ poetry by Frank William Finney
Dear reader of this fine publication, The following was rubbed from a sheet of 1960s-era carbon paper found in a shoebox hidden under a floorboard in Pennsylvania State Museum’s Delaware Room. Research indicates that Noah Brewster, chief historian of Philadelphia County, Pennsylvania, during the 1960s, was about to discover the location of Amaritudinem, Pennsylvania, before… Read More The History of Amaritudinem, Pennsylvania ~ fiction by John Lane
The Disappointed Housewife is pleased (and proud) to announce that Kirsty McGrory’s flash fiction, “The Apparitions,” has been selected to appear in the 2021 Best Small Fictions Anthology, published by The Sonder Press. Read Kirsty’s excellent story, published last May. And here’s her bio: “Kirsty McGrory is a writer from Edinburgh, Scotland. Her writing has… Read More Look for The Disappointed Housewife in the 2021 Best Small Fictions Anthology!
Around a felt-top table in Al’s faux-walnut-paneled breezeway, a small group in northwest Iowa — farmers, bookkeepers, stay-at-home moms — gathers for a game of Texas Hold ‘em. Though Bicycles are dealt to each player, it’s the booze and the tobacco, a little weed and a little speed that are the true calling cards. priorities… Read More Game Night ~ poetry by Julie Allyn Johnson
Letter to Bernadette Mayer March 13th, 2020 I’m drunk and in the dream of how things get written. Not eating running at least three miles a day, water and some good rye from out east of Salt Lake tides me over. I have been fostering this idea where I send you some money soon… Read More Letter to Bernadette Mayer ~ poetry by Andrew Romanelli
So kind of Ron to come over, help you out to the porch for a chat. Such a nice man. He brought me flowers. They got me thinking. Lilies will be an obvious choice, but they have that awful funeral smell. Perhaps hardy daisies mixed with blue gladiolus? Flowers that don’t lean on each other,… Read More That Funeral Smell ~ fiction by Karen Walker
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