Good evening! This is the regular meeting of the “Quip Pro Quote” group of Alcoholics Anonymous.
“The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.” [Though we may suffer from “terminal hipness and fatal cool” (shout out to another fellowship)].
That was an unpretentious quote from pg. 30 of the “Big Book.” My name is________________ and I’m an alcoholic, etc. I will be your secretary for this meeting.
This is an Open Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, and all are welcome here. This is a topic/discussion, Q&A, Big Book study, etc., meeting. It is the primary purpose of this group to carry the message of recovery, as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, through fun, humor, quips, and quotes. One of the many goals we have is to make the Big Book “come alive” through rigorous study, poignant questions, and animated, unfiltered banter. We recognize the importance of the AA Traditions and general meeting etiquette, but we respectfully ask that you throw out any old ideas of what a meeting should be like, and be “open minded and willing” to a “new/different” experience. We invite you to say anything that’s on your mind, but remember that “love and tolerance is our code.”
This meeting was started by two alcoholics (much like Bill & Bob), who had fun wielding the Big Book at one another in a humorous, self-deprecating, mocking manner, and commenced to put these ideas into practical application at once.
I know that a lot of people are prone to anxiety, especially in the beginning of a meeting, so let us open with the “Serenity Prayer,” in a mindful, non-robotic manner.
Is there anyone present who is at their first A.A. meeting ever?
Are there any visitors from out of town? And when we say visitors, we are non-offensively referring to people who are not currently in treatment.
Is there anyone present in their first 30 days of sobriety? If so, please introduce yourself. We ask this not to embarrass you, but so that we may get to know you better. The newcomer is the most important person in any meeting. We earnestly wish for everyone to feel welcome and “a part of” here at this meeting, in AA, and in life in general.
Now, let’s go around the room and briefly introduce ourselves, stating our names, where we’re from, and level of familiarity with the Big Book (Beginner, Intermediate, Expert, etc). You can also say a “fun fact” about yourself if you’d like.
This is a “hookup” meeting. We encourage the same-sex hookups of sponsors and sponsees. Anyone willing to sponsor, please raise your hand. If you need a sponsor, please “get with” one of these people after the meeting.
We will now pass the 40 around. Please give what you can. We promise that the funds will be dispersed in a responsible fashion. If anyone is wondering, we did indeed “pour one out” for our dearly departed.
We are against materialism, so we give celebratory hugs at this meeting for various lengths of sobriety. If a hug weirds you out, we are more than happy to give a firm handshake, or what have you… Please telegraph your decision before approaching us, to avoid a confused encounter.
I have asked _______________ to read the AA Responsibility Statement.
I have asked_______________to read the pg. 17 reading.
I have asked________________to read the pg. 89 reading.
I have asked_________________to read the pg. 132 reading.
I have asked________________ to read the pg. 152 reading.
If you’re wondering how AA works… (point to the 12&12 banners on the wall and say, “In short, that’s how”).
Tonight’s leader_______________ will give a brief, page by page synopsis of this week’s chapter, ________________________from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
This brings us to the discussion part of our meeting. The quotes must come from this week’s chapter, and shares should happen in a general way of what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now, as it relates to this week’s chapter.
Insert examples here…
We encourage you to embrace the awkwardness and participate. Whoever has the most quotes at the end of the meeting will receive a prize.
I have asked______________to be the judge, jury, and stenographer for this meeting. He/she will keep track of the quality and quantity of the quotes. If your quote is totally irrelevant, you will get a strike. 3 strikes will put you in the dunce cap corner for 1 minute, and in that minute, you will hopefully be bludgeoned with quotes from anywhere in the Big Book. To soften the blow(s), so to speak, you will receive a misery muffin, or a keep coming back cupcake, depending on the current market climate.
The meeting is now open for discussion and debate. The quotes/questions can be answered, or rendered rhetorical. Interruptions and cross-talk are welcome. Let the games begin.
At 7:55 pm
Leader: Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for tonight. Thank you to all who participated…
Can we please have a Secretary’s report?
Can we please have some volunteers to help clean up after the meeting… anyone… Bueller?…
If anyone is interested in getting a service commitment, &/or more or less making this your home group, please see a trusted servant after the meeting.
If anyone has questions about anything at all, or just needs to talk, please do so with someone that seems appropriate.
You are all cordially invited to linger about, and join us in fellowship and frolic. Please do not scurry out of the meeting like a scared animal, if at all possible.
After a moment of silence, for everyone who still suffers, in and out of these rooms, can we have____preferably someone attractive____lead us out in a prayer, or something similar of your choice.
Charles J. March III is a faux-poet, quasi-writer, pseudo-musician, and counterfeit-artist currently living in California. His pieces have appeared in such places as the Chicago Tribune, L.A. Times, in the toilet, and in the trash. A couple years ago he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into Blood Tree Literature’s hybrid contest, and wound up winning third place. PBS once contacted him regarding his work, but it didn’t work out. Less can be found at LinkedIn & SoundCloud.
Show Charles some love via PayPal at charlesmarch2(at)gmail(dot)com.