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233 MILLION YEARS AGO. It is raining. It was raining yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. In fact, it has been raining for almost one million years, and it will rain for one million more, making this the halfway point. (This is historically accurate: It really did rain for two million years once. Look up “Carnian pluvial episode” so you can see for yourself. Okay, now back to the story.)

ENTER STAURIKOSAURUS. He stands there glumly in the rain. Finally, his head turns to see BURIOLESTES ENTER.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Oh, hey.

BURIOLESTES. Hey.

Silence. The rain is really loud.

BURIOLESTES. How’s it going?

STAURIKOSAURUS. Honestly? Pretty wet.

BURIOLESTES. Yeah. (pause) I mean, I guess don’t really know what it would be like to not be really wet.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Well, like when you’re in a cave for a while and then you start to get… I don’t know, like, not wet? Is there a word for that?

BURIOLESTES. No, I don’t think there’s a word for that.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Yeah, I thought so. (pause) I guess this is just it. I mean, I guess this is what it’s like to be alive.

BURIOLESTES. I mean, it’s not so bad.

STAURIKOSAURUS. It’s not so bad.

BURIOLESTES. There’s caves.

STAURIKOSAURUS. There’s caves. And also cynodonts.

BURIOLESTES. Mmm yum, I love eating cynodonts.

STAURIKOSAURUS. They’re such losers.

BURIOLESTES. Fuckin’ prey.

Silence. Is the rain louder?

STAURIKOSAURUS. You know how the rain stops sometimes?

BURIOLESTES. (makes a face like “? no lol”)

STAURIKOSAURUS. I mean, like it’s still cloudy and moist and humid and damp, obviously, but how sometimes for a few hours it’s not actively raining? When the water isn’t falling—(suddenly inspired) it doesn’t hit you from above!

BURIOLESTES. Oh. Yeah?

STAURIKOSAURUS. What if it were like that… all the time? Like… no rain?

BURIOLESTES. I… I mean, that would be nice. (pause) I don’t think it’s gonna happen, though.

STAURIKOSAURUS. But I mean, we have no idea what’s going to happen. For example, I’m the “earliest unequivocal dinosaur,” right?

BURIOLESTES. (not seeing where he’s going) Right.

STAURIKOSAURUS. The earliest!

BURIOLESTES. Okay?

STAURIKOSAURUS. So that suggests there are going to be others! Right?

BURIOLESTES. I don’t… I mean, I guess. I mean, I’m another. That doesn’t mean there are going to be that many others.

STAURIKOSAURUS. …Yeah, I guess. I just thought. I don’t know, “unequivocal” kind of made me think, like, maybe dinosaurs were going to be a whole thing.

BURIOLESTES. Doubt it.

(pause)

STAURIKOSAURUS. Do you think there are equivocal dinosaurs?

BURIOLESTES. What?

STAURIKOSAURUS. Like, if there are unequivocal dinosaurs, there must be equivocal ones too, right?

BURIOLESTES. Oh. Yeah, that’s a good question. I guess they’re talking about our ancestors. There must have been some of them that weren’t really dinosaurs yet but were, like, borderline.

STAURIKOSAURUS. So you agree that things can change!

BURIOLESTES. Oh, okay, I thought we were having a genuine conversation but I guess you were just trying to trick me into agreeing with—

STAURIKOSAURUS. I’m not trying to trick you, I just. Got excited.

Silence. The rain gets even louder.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Look. Okay. Do you agree that it could theoretically stop raining?

BURIOLESTES. No.

STAURIKOSAURUS. No?!

BURIOLESTES. Like, no! I don’t even know what that would look like! Like I don’t even think that’s possible given the… like, earth?… and stuff. This is the way that the earth is.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Okay, do you agree that it could theoretically stop raining in one million years? Not next year, or ten years, or in 30,000 years, or even 500,000 years. One. Million. Years. (Before he can respond) Theoretically!

BURIOLESTES. (sighs) Like, sure, I guess. And maybe there will also stop being gravity in one million years, why not.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Maybe cynodonts will rule the world in one million years!

(They laugh and laugh.)

BURIOLESTES. I mean, okay, I get what you’re saying. But maybe it won’t stop raining in one million years. You’re right that we don’t know. But we also don’t know.

(They sit with that for a bit.)

BURIOLESTES. This is what the world is like now. This is what our world is like. And this is what we have to deal with.

STAURIKOSAURUS. No, I do see what you’re saying. I guess thinking about this stuff makes me kind of… hopeful. Like, I think that you’re right: I don’t think it’ll stop raining in our lifetimes. But the idea that someday, someone could be… not wet—maybe they’ll invent a word for that—makes me feel happy. Really small somehow, but also happy. Even if it isn’t me.

BURIOLESTES. Well, that’s very generous of you.

STAURIKOSAURUS. Even if it’s in a million years.

BURIOLESTES. If the planet is even around in a million years. How long do these things last, anyway?

STAURIKOSAURUS. Five million?

BURIOLESTES. That sounds right. (pause) Anyway, I’m gonna go grab lunch. Literally!

STAURIKOSAURUS. Ha. Nice one. All right, man, see you.

BURIOLESTES. See you.

(EXIT BURIOLESTES. STAURIKOSAURUS stays on stage for a long time. He will die before the rain stops, you know. Two million years is a long time for a pluvial episode — but then for 232 million years after that, the planet won’t be in a pluvial episode. Really this whole thing is just the blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things. But he won’t ever know that.)

STAURIKOSAURUS. If the rain stopped… (He pauses, looking uncertain, confused. FADE TO BLACK as he stares out, trying to picture it.)

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Maia Gerlinger is from Jersey City, New Jersey, but now lives in Avignon, France. Her main activities are teaching, traveling, reading, and writing.