The Devil’s Handiwork
LOGLINE
The Devil himself runs his doom shop out of an industrial waste-processing plant in Cleveland. Eons of ushering humanity’s worst specimens to perdition have taken a toll on Nick Ruprecht (The Devil), but in the 21st century he decides to change it up and give the damned a second chance.
The Office meets Taxi in this hilarious workplace farce.
ONE-SHEET
Contrary to common belief, The Devil has a heart. As CEO of Nick’s Disposal, he not only gets rid of toxic waste—he also processes noxious souls on their way to Hell. Trick is, they don’t always understand they’re slated for eternal damnation, but Nick, out of a newfound abundance of kindness, does what he can to get them one last shot at redemption.
Main Characters
Nick Ruprecht (The Devil)
It’s been an eternity since he felt good about what he does. Now this reluctant warden of the damned bends all the rules and pulls all the strings he can to transfer his charges to Limbo instead of Hell. His new motto: Fair and balanced.
Marni Gallagher
Nick’s by-the-book assistant reminds him daily that he’s messing with the cosmic order. Perky but often snide (think a latter-day Annie Potts), Marni delivers tough truths on laugh lines that never quit. Her stock phrase, uttered often, is “This stinks like brimstone!”
Dread
A cross between Lurch and Hellboy, the house pessimist in coveralls advises the hapless damned and cautions them not to get their hopes up. This ghoul’s a statistics freak and never tires, in his droll way, of going actuarial on the “body bags” (his term for them) headed for the eternal incinerator.
Eva Braun
Who better to advise Nick on matters touching on everything from the sacred to the profane? With experience to spare, undead Eva plays off Marni’s manual-driven manner by showing Nick that anything is possible if you believe! When Nick makes an especially hard decision to impose everlasting agony on a transitional soul, Fraulein Braun issues her popular catchphrase: “Adolph would approve, Liebchen.”
Sample Episodes
Mistaken Identity
Nick is thrown for a loop when an EPA inspector writes up the shop because of all the industrial waste stored on the premises. “You’re supposed to be processing this stuff,” he says. “It’s Nick’s Disposal.” When Nick tells him that industrial waste is the least of his worries, Marni does a spit take with her pistachio latte. This week’s doomed soul, Mr. D’Angelo, takes the chute to Hell when Dread mistakenly pulls the wrong lever.
Frozen
Oil tycoon Mint Tollinger is too clever by half when he tells Nick that he’s had his head and torso flash frozen for later reanimating, when “things settle down.” You can’t hurt me here, Beelzebub, the near-dead entity insists. Nick winds up sparing him after learning that Tollinger became a ruthless capitalist only because his father never loved him and put Mint’s puppy down for soiling a plush white area rug. When Nick sheds a tear, Eva Braun howls with sardonic laughter.
The Man Upstairs
Marni wants to surprise Nick with a five-thousandth-and-some birthday party, but the timing couldn’t be worse. The Lord thy God has gotten word that Nick is messing with His decision-making and orders him to take a meeting. With Dread as his wingman, Nick tries not to tremble in the deity’s presence but soon learns that, like the Wizard of Oz, God (Wallace Shawn) is actually a smallish chap operating a special effects panel to beat them all.
Deep Doo Doo
The gang takes a field trip to famed Cedar Point theme park on Lake Erie, but all Hell breaks loose when a fun-seeking spiritualist recognizes Nick’s true identity in front of the Magnum XL-200 roller coaster and begins screaming, “It’s the devil incarnate! It’s the devil incarnate!” Nick regrets having grown a pointy goatee, but Eva Braun takes control by serenading the woman with a Cabaret-style rendition of “He’s My Guy.”
Additional episodes in Season 1
Use It or Lose It
Nick loses his stomach for damnation and spares two dozen souls in a row. Dread is afraid the chute to Hell is going to seize up from lack of use. Marni considers seducing Nick back to a more balanced approach, but she’s afraid she’ll get burned.
With Friends Like That …
The latest soul scheduled for a trip to Hades, Monica Lariat, has made a fortune “friending” unsuspecting men online and then taking them for all they’re worth. When one of them murders her in vengeance, all Nick can think is, Karma’s a bitch. Monica asks Eva if she has any regrets.
A Very Special The Devil’s Handiwork
It’s family reunion time at Nick’s Disposal, when his cousin, the horned god Moloch, pops by for a long-postponed reunion. The two of them get drunk on a sulfurous potable Moloch has brought with him, and they sloppily reminisce over old times. Eva Braun appears to have something of a crush on the ancient bullhead and keeps asking, “Are you horny?”
The Devil’s Vasectomy
Nick is mad as Hell when he goes in for a simple hernia repair and comes out with his demonic reproductive tubes tied. I wasn’t planning on having kids anytime soon, he tells Dread, but damn it: Who’s going to let me adopt?
Runnin’ on Empty
The stress of Nick’s work has him depressed and needing a pick-me-up. That’s when freshly dead Rudy Giuliani arrives, asking if this is Four Seasons Total Landscaping again. Nick signals Dread, who’s already gripping the lever and sniggering, “This one’s gonna be a treat!”
CASTING SUGGESTIONS
We know it’s not our place, but the writing team has a wish list:
Nick: Our heart is set on Paul Rudd. (Dude does not age!)
Marni: If you can get her, Emma Stone would kill in this role. Does she do TV?
Dread: Conan O’Brien? Playing it totally deadpan.
Eva Braun: Nicole Kidman. Absolutely Nicole Kidman. In black leather.
Janusz Cutler is a writer by night and a high school science teacher by day. He lives with his wife and two playful ferrets, Judy Blue Eyes and John Wesley Harding, in Belleville, Illinois. Currently he’s at work on a novel about a dystopia that’s actually better than the society it replaced.
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